Jack is the one eye cat i adoped from off the streets. Here is a few things he learned.
Well it's been five months in my new home. I've learned a lot. Here is a list of things I've learned.
1. After mom walks and feeds the dog, if i sit in front of the draws in the computer room. She will give me a sparkle ball to go play soccer.
2. If i lose the ball under the couch, she will get it for me, if i keep sitting on what she is doing.
3. The big tall white thing in the kitchen holds a lot food.
4. In the evening between 7:30 - 8, if all of us (Cleo tony and I) sit in front of her she gives us a treat.
5. Tony doesn't like to cover in the litter box.
6. Tony and Cleo has nooo idea what real food is (chicken, beef, seafood, and i loooove feta).
7. If i jump up on the table while mom and dad are eating i have to sit out in the hallway with the door closed.
8. If i wait patiently for them to finish eating i will get a piece of cheese or meat.
9. It's not always wise to run up to the dog and smell her mouth to see what she just ate.
10. Also not wise to play with the dogs tail.
11. If i scratch on the coffee table the dog runs after me.
12. Hitting Tony doesn't mean he will play with me. But if i jump on him he'll run after me.
13. If i sit in front of tony and Cleo they will leave there food bowls and than i get more.
14. If i cry real loud in the back yard. The old man three floors up will come out and throw me some chicken.
15. When Cleo growls it's a good idea not to bite her tail.
16. If my bowl is empty in the middle of the night. I learned from watching Tony i just need to rattle the bottles on mom's make up table and she gets up.
17. When Tony is sleeping in his basket, slapping him on the head won't get him to move.
18. Climbing up mom's pant leg to get at the draw strings, gets my toe nails clipped.
19. If i walk across the key board when mom's writing a letter, i get tossed out in the hall.
20. If i play bite to hard i get sent to my room.
21. Mom likes giving kisses to everybody yuck!!!!
22. Mom, doesn't like me sticking my foot in her coffee.
23. Biting moms toes while she is sleeping will get me kicked off the bed.
24. Banging on the wind chimes when I'm mad doesn't always make mom too happy.
25. Passing gas while laying across moms jewelry parts that she is working on, will get me a slap on the back of the head.
Mom says now that i told u what I've learned i should tell u what I'm still working on. I like helping mom so there are days when I'm into everything. Mom thinks i have ADD. I don't know what that is but this is what u will hear.
1. Jack get out of the cupboard before the door hits u in the head...(yeah it did)
2. Jaaack i can put on my own socks, jack, stop biting the sock! Give me that!
3. Yes u did a good job of helping with the bed now go so i can finish...jack give me the covers, no u can't have them, OFF the bed!
4. Jack don't stick your nose by the dog when she is eating...she's going to snap at u...now didn't i tell u she would...dumb ass!!
5. Jack the dogs tail isn't for jumping at...jack I'm warning u...will u ever learn!
6. I don't care if u want to lay on the blanket. Cleo is on it and she is growling. (That is when i lay next to her and just touch her tail. When she growls i take my paw off. When she stops i touch it again. Usually she gets off the blanket and i have a nice warm spot to lay. )
7. Jack i can hang the wash my self, thank u very much. Get out of the basket jack, your going to get wet. Didn't i tell u, you would get wet? Dumb ass!
8. Why are u hitting tony on the head again? Can't u see he's trying to sleep.
9. Jack get out of the plants before u poke your only eye. (of course that was my first day here and i did poke my eye. Now when I'm in the plants mom sprays me with water)
10. Jack stop tattling on Cleo. (I usually do this when she goes over the fence to see Paris. But when she gets back she usually slaps me for telling)
11. What the hell!! (That was the day mom found me swinging from dads pant leg that was hanging on the wash line) What are u doing? Leave the wash alone! Don't u have a soccer game to play?
12. Jack get out of the dirt. (that was the day when i was digging looking for that lizard.)
13. OK...who just got toe prints across my clean floor???
14. Jack don't rub against the dogs face, i know tony does and than Shelia licks his ears, but i don't think she's going to do that for u.
15. Why are there two sparkle balls floating in the water bowl?
16. Jack i don't think that's a good idea to stick your nose in Cleo's ear. Now didn't i just tell u it wasn't a good idea?? Idiot
17. Jack where are u it's tooooo quite?
18. Didn't i tell u your going to fall in? (that was the day i was trying to get something out of the trash bin, I was on top of the desk leaning over when i slipped and fell in.)
19. Jack did u eat all the food AGAIN??? Look at poor Tony starving.
20. Are u begging from the old man again?
21. Get your foot out of my cereal !! (that could be jack or Cleo)
22. Who keeps rubbing there nose on the window?? That's all four.
Anyways that's just a few things I've been getting into.
Capt Jack
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